In what parallel universe are bowling shoes not toxic, the food menu includes more than nachos and Pabst Blue Ribbon and the entire experience is not bathed in smoke? Such a place really exists! Maybe you already know about such a world, but the closest I’d come to a bowling alley was watching The Big Lebowski, idolizing The Dude. Wait a minute, if you didn’t click that link, you’ve already missed out on the fact that there is an event called Lebowski Fest. Truth.

Fast-forward through movie talk, we discovered this bowling nirvana at Splitsville Luxury Lanes and Dinner Lounge at the Village of Fairview. Don’t get me wrong – these types of haunts usually freak me out with their perfectly ironed pants and fancy martini flavors. Maybe this is the suburbia talking, but it was fun.

The way it’s designed with bright reds and blacks and oversized bowling pins and 1950s-esque lighting satisfied the aesthetics-hound in me. I guess they were trying to reach the ‘everyone’ demographic, because the music selections were bizarre: it ranged from Biz Markie to Hank Williams. I cannot figure their rhyme or reason, but it’s okay. Who goes bowling for the music experience?

The culinary choices have veered far away from cheese fries and nachos, while those do still make an appearance on the menu. Our table sampled edamame, sliders, pizza and fries, so we remained pretty true to the blue-collar roots. (Minus the edamame) Other choices include thai shrimp quesadillas, spicy ahi-tuna sushi, mahi mahi fish tacos and three-pepper calamari.

I’m no bowling master, but I enjoyed sampling a different colored ball (I mean weight) on each turn. I got lucky a few times and managed two strikes. Which didn’t mix well with the other gutter balls. And the shoes! The staff does not require you to exchange your shows for a pair of sparkling new bowling shoes. Is that a bygone tradition? (Probably one better left in the past, actually.)

Apparently, after 8pm Splitsville is working to keep the gangstas out. Their dress code reads: No sunglasses/hats/beanies(?)/bandanas/cut-off shorts/baggy or oversized clothing/long shorts/shorts below the knee or athletic wear. Whew. Okay, that just answered my question. The Dude would not be allowed inside sporting his usual outfit. “Man, that’s just like, your opinion.”

Much fun was had at Splitsville, mocking each others’ brilliant bowling abilities and dancing to the oddball music. You should check it out sometime. Just don’t wear your beanie.

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About the author

Autumn Carpenter
While navigating the carpool lane and translating toddler conversations might not rank high on some adventure life lists, I happily include those accomplishments alongside skydiving, dodging Pamplonian bulls and surviving three-hour Vinyasa yoga classes. I look for the story in everyday situations, and convey them easily in both print and online mediums. I’m also SEO-friendly ghostblogger, web content writer and copywriter. Let’s collaborate on a project today!